i’m a big fan of Rachelle Mee-Chapman and Magpie Girl, where she specializes in customized soulcare for spiritual misfits. She works with clients to help them find a spirituality that fits; and hosts Flock, an online soulcare community.
She is currently hosting a 30 Stories in 30 Days project on her website, and I was excited to ask her the question, What advice would you give someone who would like to start a spiritual community?
Here’s her beautiful and informative answer:
In 2003 a group of friends and I started a small soulcare community in our home. Monkfish Abbey became our church and our friendship-base for four satisfying years. During the course of our time together I learned a lot about establishing a spiritual community – things to do, and things not to do again. Here are a few tips from that era.
Trust your desires. For a long time I worried about what our community “should” look like. The rules of the institutions I grew up in rang loud in my ears, and I found it hard to trust my intuition about what a different kind spiritual community might look like. Finally, one of my mentors told me “You should build the church you want to go to.” That helped me turn down the volume the “shoulds” and co-create something with our founding group that we truly loved.
Start with Co-Ownership. I like being the “mother” of a group and playing hostess. But if you set yourself up in that role from the beginning, it can be hard to create a more shared pattern later. Rotate hosting duties from the get-go to prevent burn out. You’ll have to trust the other members more – and that will be good for everyone.
Be organic. Mission statements are all the rage, but sometimes they can get in the way. Set gentle boundaries and let your community morph and grow as time goes by. You may start as a book group and turn into a meditation group. When the direction of a group grows out of the group-ethos, beautiful things happen.
Start Small. A few people for a short term group can help you discovered what you need in a spiritual community and how you’d like to structure one. Don’t make everyone sign on for a life time commitment. Start with a short term project – a book group, a retreat, a six week commitment to learn a certain spiritual practice. Then see if that initial group/activity would like to end, continue, or shift into something different.
Need More Help? I have two resources that might be a good fit for you. SoulRetreats: How to host a tribe with art and soul is a Magpie Girl guide to hosting a weekend retreat with potential soultribe members. We even made a free cookbook for your adventure, SoulFood: How to cook for a Tribe. You can download the cookbook here, or click here to buy SoulRetreats, and you’ll be sent the ebook within 24hrs.
If you aren’t ready to launch something on your own, our online soultribe might be a good fit. Flock is a soulcare community dedicated to “finding a spirituality that fits.” We celebrate monthly high holy days, offer advice from a team of soulcare providers, and support each other through our chatter feature. Find out more about Flock membership on our public pages here.
What about you? Do you have any tips or techniques for starting a spiritual community? We’d love to hear from you, because “there ain’t know where to go but together.”
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Thank you, Rachelle!
Wow. Just WOW.
Lori-Lyn, great guidance. I would add a few things from my own experience. I think if the group can discuss that each person will have an innate strength to bring to the group, then they can begin to start looking for each and every member’s personal strength. By looking for the strengths the group is more likely to focus on the positives in different personalities. This can be cause for much celebration.
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This brings back many memories, because about 20 years ago my (now ex)-husband and I started a little fellowship/spiritual community that met in homes (ours and sometimes others). It was a very organic thing, and definitely diverse, in terms of members. At one point we had mainline and evangelical Protestants, a Catholic and an Eastern Orthodox, and one or two “spiritual but not religious” members.
Our focused ranged from studying social justice and co-housing to singing, prayer, and studying the bible and other books. It was always very organically generated, according to felt needs and interests of the current group. Group members slowly came and went over several years, as people either moved away or drifted away, or brought new members into the group. We ate many meals together and even took several weekend retreats, which I still remember fondly.
For founders of any such group, it is helpful to have a story or a few guiding principles… some basic definitions of what you want (or don’t want) it to be, if only for the sake of attracting like-minded folks. For us (at first), that story was, “Well, we can’t find a church we love and feel comfortable in, and we’re tired of making that an excuse not to meet and fellowship with others and to encourage each other to grow in our faith.” Some who joined us had churches (as we soon did, too), but our core spiritual community for years was the little fellowship group.
It was a worthwhile and memorable adventure, and I remain in touch (at least occasionally on facebook, if not in person!) with almost every member that passed through the group.